By Mark Attwood | Family & Stuff

Dec 19

This story borders on the outrageous, but bear with me.

A couple of years ago a young teenager knocked on our door trying to sell us some wood for the fire. Enthusing about this young entrepreneur, I gladly parted with the cash for a few bags of wood.

Last year, he came again. I agreed to buy some wood from him as before, but then he started making convoluted arrangements that involved me going to his house to get the wood. But it wasn’t there. His attitude had also taken something of a nosedive compared to the previous year, and the warmth I felt towards him was fading, especially as the convenience of a home delivery had been removed.

This year, he telephoned the house a large number of times and sales-pitched my wife for a tonne of the stuff. She replied “I have no idea what a tonne of wood looks like”. They eventually agreed that he would bring a tonne along to the house for my wife to view before making the decision to purchase.

Then, last Saturday we arrived back at the house to find a rather abrupt invoice poking out of the door for £150 – payment MUST be made within 7 days!

It then took us a few minute to then find a tiny pile of wood on the drive.

My wife then sent a text to him (she was starting to feel harrassed and, being the mother of baby twins, really did not need the grief of any kind of confrontation).

Her text said;

“Can you come and pick these logs up please? I don’t feel they are value for money. I never ordered them and to be honest feel slightly harrassed by you.”

To which the young man replied:

“We agreed a time of half past eight this morning and you did not get out of bed? We have other customers to attend to and we needed the use of our trailer and you did not have the decency to come to the door when we agreed that you wanted the logs. If you do not want the logs we will come and collect however you will have to pay us for the fuel prices and cost of time in which we spent getting the wood ready for you. Furthermore, you did order the logs and I believe you have wasted both our time and your time. Please either pay the bill or pay for the time and fuel expenses.”

If she was feeling harrassed before, she certainly was now! We had not ordered the logs and now this boy was bullying us into parting with our cash!

We have enough on our plates, so decided to ignore this and get on with our day.

The next morning there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find the boy with a confrontational look in his eyes being chaperoned by a woman in her fifties.

I looked at him and said “I would like an apology from you for the way you have treated my wife”

He said “you ordered the wood”

I replied that we did not. (What happened to the customer always being right?)

I then politely asked them to take the wood away and leave the property.

The woman then started arguing with me and actually came through the door uninvited and stood in our kitchen with her arms folded leaning against the door!

I was outraged. It was Sunday morning. We have five little children to look after and here I am being harrassed by a haridan and a pubescent moron on my day off!

I was stood some twenty feet away from the woman who was obviously going nowhere. It got to the point when I had to raise my voice to get them to leave. I eventually told them to “piss off”!, which they finally did.

We went out later that day. On our return, the paultry pile of logs had thankfully been removed. We were relieved that this was the end of it and vowed never to entertain that young man again.

But it was not the end of it.

A few days later, this woman had obviously googled me, found my stalkers website (yes, I have an obsessed online stalker who loves to write stories about me. It’s part of the territory when you work on the internet), and left a diatribe of illiterate hate against me.

Obviously, my stalker relished this and replied with more hate about me being evil, my wife being a “vulgar vulture” and us being alcoholics. Although he did mention that we have nice children. Which was nice of him.

For anyone that requires clarification: we have twin baby boys that keep us up all night.

And then, even more bizarrely, on Friday 17th December at 14.03 my wife received a text message from the boypreneur stating: “I suck cock”

I’m sure he meant to say “you suck cock”. Either that or he thought his least favourite ex-customer was a good person to come out as a homosexual to? He should get in touch with my stalker.

They have a lot in common.

I could not help being reminded of that awful man who got kicked off the Apprentice last week. What on Earth is going wrong with our society when morons like that get so far whilst being such obvious twats? It is culture like this and the X Factor breeding arrogant plebs who believe they have a right to success without actually having to earn it.

What happened to respect? Did I miss a meeting?

I have refrained from mentioning any names here, but I wonder if that young man has informed the Inland Revenue of his money making activities….


About the Author

I believe every human being is infinite potential. This blog is about business, marketing, metaphysics, freedom, food and flying. You can follow Me on and Twitter